This is exactly why we have this technology
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
that was a wild ride
I lost it at the end.
Okay, I had to check out the Van Eyck thing. I was a bit in denial because, come on, every single person can’t look like President Putin!
There are no words to describe how wrong I was.
Reblogging this for my art history class this semester
The art historian in me had to reblog this.
Every time people say animals don’t have feelings, I show them this.
25 Of The Best Parenting Moments In The Animal Kingdom
I’m sorry but when I look at the first set of bears all I can think is its the dad showing the son how to pee. And in the second set it looks like the dads like, “Next time aim for the fucking ground Johnny, you little shit.”
Guy’s Review of Right Guard Deodorant Ends Unexpectedly
"jack dont post this video"
I dont normally post/reblog stuff like this, but jeasus christ im dying.
WATCH THE VIDEO OMG HAHAHA
Can we just appreciate how much time it took the author to come up with that many boner jokes and make it work?